Bonded
by Zwiebelbaguette
Summary: Spock never felt truly bonded to T'Pring, because of a reason. A reason he did not remember creating himself. Rated M because of chapter 2, but no real smut included, because I really can't write smut.
1. Then

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Star Trek. Otherwise Spock would be MINE. ;)**

When Amanda was sick, embassador Sarek had to take his little son with him to Earth to meet with the Federation Council. But since a four year old child would only be disturbing in a meeting with other embassadors, he could not take Spock with him to the government. He decided to leave his son at Starfleet kindergarten where a few other children were already playing, most of them the sons and daughters of high rank officers who came to Earth for meetings or new assignments.

Spock played on his own with a jigsaw puzzle when he heard a small boy crying, who was attacked by older children. "Leave him alone!", he said and stepped between them and the small boy with dark blonde hair.

"Or what?", the tallest of the older boys asked.

"Ever heard of Vulcan nerve pinf?", Spock asked in return with a lisp, eventhough he did not knew how to do the nerve pinch. The older ones didn't seem to know he was bluffing and retreated and only seconds later, he felt arms around him and a head on his chest. The small boy, probably a year younger than himself, hugged him and held him so close, Spock almost had problems breathing.

Then he let go and ran off to a man who just stepped in. "Daddy, daddy, that boy just saved me. He's my prince, my knight in shining armor. When I'm all grown up, I'm gonna marry him." While saying that he pulled his father closer to Spock who just stared at the small boy. No one ever had made him feel welcome, except his own mother, and this human liked him that much?

"If fat a promif?", he asked and the blonde child nodded his head.

Spock took his hand. He just wanted to say hello like humans did and didn't plan to do anything else, but for a second he had the feeling he had known this boy all his life. He could feel him, in a way he never had felt anyone before. "I'm Fpock", he said, his eyes fixed on those of his 'fiancé'.

"And I'm Jim. Jim Kirk. And now I've got to go. Daddy is here to take me home, but I'll see you tomorrow." He was gone so fast that Spock had no chance to say that he would be on his way home tomorrow.


	2. Now

Jim had forgotten, of course. He had been 3 years old, most children did not remember their life back then. Spock remembered. But he never had the courage to talk about it.

Still both men felt a connection between each other they never really could describe. It was like they knew each other, knew what the other felt and thought, which was quite useful for running a ship together.

But now even Jim could not understand his first officer. Spock could not understand himself. His blood was on fire, his logic failing. All he could think about was mating – which was completely new to him, as he never felt such a desire before. He even felt tempted to use Nurse Chapel to get rid of all this lust washing through his veins, but he knew it would not be enough. He was bonded and since the bond was closed, no one else could give him, what he needed, than his bondmate.

He was to marry T'Pring, his fiancé. Fiancé, a word, he rather used for Jim in his mind, even though they were only children back then. And there was nothing more than friendship between them, was there? Still, he never felt as close to T'Pring as to his best friend. Not even when they closed their bond. He had not felt anything at all back then. Spock always imagined to feel her, even when she was far away, for the rest of his life, when he was told they would be engaged soon, but nothing like this happened.

He was not even looking forward to meet her, now that he had his Pon Farr. Oh, he WAS looking forward to be able to mate, but he did not care if it would happen with her or any other Vulcan woman. All he wanted was that his blood would finally cool down, stop hurting, stop burning him from inside out.

When he beamed down, he was somehow glad, Jim was there with him. His friend, since the beginning. Although after the ceremony it would not be that appropriate to have Jim with him.

When his bride came, all Spock wanted was to get it done. Get married. He stood there, waiting for her approval and she chose the fight. Spock whimpered, but so quiet, that nobody could hear him. His lust had begun to hurt, especially as his trousers were a little too tight right now.

When she chose Jim, his heart stopped for a second. And the captain accepted, of course. Jim didn't know, what he agreed to do, he probably thought it would help Spock. But his little Vulcan heart broke when he realized he had to kill Jim. There was no other way. Kill or be killed and right now he could not give up.

He took his weapon and attacked Jim, his fever making him angry, strong. He tried everything to kill the human in front of him, but when he cut Jims chest, Spock backed off in pain. He had felt what Jim felt, while being that close to him. What would happen if he killed Jim? Would he die himself?

"Why can I feel this man being hurt without melding with him?", he asked T'Pau, shifting further away from Jim.

Another thought ran through his clouded mind. "And why did I never any connection to T'Pring?" He turned towards his wife-to-be and stepped closer. "When we were six and got engaged, did you feel a connection? Do you feel it now? Do you feel the Pon Farr? Fire in your veins? Lust overwhelming your mind?"

T'Pring did not seem emotional at all, rather cold and logical, when she looked at Spock. "No." She thought for a moment. "I never felt anything. Maybe that is the reason why I chose Stonn. I never truly felt your bondmate."

T'Pau had been quiet, only looking down on all of them. But now she rose from her seat and spoke. "If your bond never established, you must have been already bonded. Did you ever choose anybody to be your bondmate before?"

"Yes", Spock said, fixing his eyes on his captain. "But I was four years old and had no idea of how to make a connection to another being."

"It may have happened instinctively", T'Pau answered. "Who was your chosen mate?" She had an idea, very likely the answer, but wanted Spock to discover it himself.

"Jim Kirk", Spock said, still looking at his captain.

"What are you talking about? We never-"

Spock interrupted him. "When I was four years old, my mother was sick and my father had to take me with him to Earth, but I had to spend the time in kindergarten. There was a young boy, attacked and hurt by older children and I tried to save him. When I did, he hold me close and afterwards told his father that one day he would be marrying me as I was his prince."

It took some effort to speak, as his blood was still burning, his skin sweaty. "It was the first time, I felt close to anybody else than my parents. And I shook his hand, as I wanted to be polite. I knew Vulcan telepathy needs touching when contacting other species, but … I never realized, what I did."

Jim stared at him in shock, only slowly recovering. "The lisp", he said. "I thought I had just imagined meeting that boy. I never saw him again."

"You were gone before I could told you I had to go home to my planet", Spock answered softly and took a few steps towards Jim. And when we met on the Enterprise, I noticed you did not recognize me, so I said nothing."

"Is that the reason why we are friends? Closer than me and Bones - sorry, Bones – even though we know each other just for a year?"

Spock nodded, now being so close to Jim he could feel the heat of the human body. "Jim, this … I need … " He bit his lip, for the first time lost for words. After a moment of silence he tried a second time. "I am aware of your … faible for women. But a Vulcan bond can only be broken with the death of one of the bondmates. Therefore the fight to death in the wedding ritual. It doesn't mean anything for you as you are no Vulcan, but I will die. I cannot ask you to mate with me, I don't want you to feel forced to do so. But since I'm bonded I can only end Pon Farr through mating. I don't believe I can meditate deeply enough to heal me, as I am only half Vulcan." He was now so close to Jim, that the human would probably feel the Vulcan erection. "I wish to say that I am thankful for you being my friend and it was an honor to serve under your command."

Jim pulled Spock closer, putting his arms around the tall alien and Spock could feel Jims arousal. "Do you really think I would let you die? Do you think I would not want you? I may not have noticed our …engagement, I may have forgotten us meeting back in kindergarten, but I felt our relationship. We two are close, not just friends. Maybe … " He smiled and pulled Spock down into a kiss, tongues fighting and dancing, while Jim pressed his hips against his fiancé.

When he broke the kiss he took Spocks Hand. "So, are we going to get married now? Because I think some of your Pon Farr emotions just hit me, too."

"Telepathy through touch", Spock apologized and took Jim to T'Pau to get married. But he hesitated and turned to Jim again. "We don't need to marry to cure Pon Farr. We already have a bond." But Jim only pressed a finger against Spocks lips. "I told you, I would marry you some day. I promised. Now let me finally get my prince."

* * *

><p>Writers note: I'm thinking about adding a smut honeymoon Pon Farr chapter, but I never wrote smut in a fanfic and especially not in english, so this might be the end. :)<p> 


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